the white lotus season 2 finale thoughts

next year in the Maldives

The season 2 finale of the White Lotus doesn’t just feel like the end of a show, it feels like checking out of a hotel after an amazing vacation. Sure, there may be other vacations (unless your husband hired the Sicilian mafia to kill you during this one, in which case, eek), but like most people don’t revisit the same destination twice, the White Lotus rotates its location and cast and won’t come back the same.

And this show really has become my own mental vacation, always offering a little imagination escape to theorize and dissect with anyone who wanted to discuss it as badly as I did. So to ease the sadness of the end of the season and the loss of my mental escape, I’m writing this post while on a flight to vacation, out of respect to Tanya. It’s called method writing, obviously.

It’s no secret that I absolutely loved this season, but after the finale, I can’t shake the feeling that I want more answers. Even having all the information that we ever will (I have to remind myself that these aren’t real people and therefore there literally isn’t anything else for me to know), I still can’t help but continue to chew over the story like little red and white arancini.

These Gays Are Trying To Murder Me

Of course we have to start with *the* moment: Tanya’s Tumble™. I rewatched that clip three times to make sure that she definitely fell in a way that I’ll call “decisive” and that she wasn’t somehow going to pop back up. (After doing that a few times, I realized that if I just let it play forward, I would have had the answer.)

As much as Tanya’s character was beloved, her death felt so right for the ending. Not only did her slightly gonzo accidental death strike the same tone as Armand’s in season 1, but I had convinced myself that Tanya wouldn’t die because it seemed like she was the most obvious candidate (evidence: the Madame Butterfly parallel, the tarot reader, Monica Vitti is dead, and her matching Apollonia shirt). As much as it’s fun to be right (let’s fun!), in this case I was excited to be surprised.

My concern for Tanya started picking up towards the beginning of the episode when Quentin says “enjoy the Ionian Sea while you still can.” Not only was it threatening in hindsight, but it reminded me of Valentina’s comment from the first episode after the body was found when she said that “the hotel can’t be responsible for everything that happens in the Ionian Sea.”

Watching the tension build throughout the day as Tanya pieced together what was happening with help from Portia, felt like the most “complete” storyline in this episode, and that final scene was next level. From Tanya hysterically locking herself in the room to crying while blindly getting off shots successfully, to her not even thinking to take off her heels or I don’t know, maybe try taking the ladder into the dinghy (?), or even just jumping into the water first (??), I was gritting my teeth in angst all the way through her last words: you got this.

For Tanya to survive a murder conspiracy, only to fall to her death due to her own clumsiness was so deeply fitting for both her character and the series. Also, now we know the tarot reader wasn’t entirely wrong; she said that Tanya’s madness would drive her to suicide. A little closer to true than not true despite being so, so negative.

Jennifer Coolidge’s acting in this scene also brought me back to her acting during the boat scene from season 1 (“oh mother, mother, mother” still wrenches my gut), and I find it sort of perversely wholesome that Tanya ended up dying at sea, after the main goal of her first season arc was to scatter her mother’s ashes in the ocean.

And finally, I suppose I already know the answer to this, but I wish we could’ve gotten an explicitly stated answer to what was happening between Quentin and Greg. I was hoping we would get one of those dramatic scenes where Quentin spills a ton of details to Tanya, and I also really wanted Greg to be in another episode. However, despite my desire to see him again, I’m annoyed that we’re supposed to assume that this scheming asshole is about to come into half a billion dollars.

Some other epic Tanya moments, in memoriam:

• Bringing her pink Valentino purse down to breakfast, for what?

• “You know, there aren’t enough people out there who are worried about old buildings.”

• DO YOU KNOW THESE GAYS!?

• PLEASE, THESE GAYS, THEY’RE TRYING TO MURDER ME!

• When Portia tells Tanya that Jack said Quentin has no money, Tanya responds “it doesn’t make any sense, I’m on his yacht right now, he HAS money!” …need we invoke Sam Bankman-Fried?

• Tanya trying to be sneaky with bringing her phone to the back of the boat, but then blatantly running the second she turns the corner.

• Love the foreshadowing of Tanya’s downfall by first dropping her phone off the yacht. Clearly she has never been on a bachelorette boat day or she would know you don’t stand so close to the edge without your phone secured in a full death grip.

• When Quentin tells her it’s time to go back to the hotel with Niccolo and Tanya is stalling: “What about Didier, and what’s-his-face!?” …the same what’s-his-face she just spent three days with.

• I’m late on this, but what does Tanya even need an assistant for?

Jack & Portia

So did Jack turn out to be an unexpected good guy in all this? It wasn’t clear to me whether it was his assignment all along to drop Portia off at the airport, or if he was supposed to do something to her and decided not to. Either way, I’m curious what will happen to him (even though nothing will happen because again I must remind myself that he is fictional), and I wish we could’ve gotten to see how he finds out that Quentin is dead and that he won’t be getting a piece of Greg’s money. How will he afford arancini now? Will he go back to the deep fucking hole or get out of the uncle-fucking game for good? Will he sign up for instagram?

Regarding Portia’s situation in Palermo, I have a few questions. Why does she constantly go along with situations that she clearly knows are dangerous? Could she not have asked the hotel concierge to help her?? Does she not have a credit card that she can use to charge a taxi??? I’m sure Tanya (if alive) would have reimbursed her for trying to save her life and fortune. Ultimately it was Portia who clued Tanya in early enough that she was in danger and that Quentin was going to hurt her. Again, that information was all thanks to Jack (and a lot of alcohol), but generally Portia just strikes me as someone who has no instinct for fight or flight, only to freeze.

After Portia escapes the Catania airport (I mean, how?…given her lack of ability to get anywhere), I noticed was that in the final scene where Portia exchanges numbers with Albie, she was weirdly dressed sort of Tanya-esque with a headscarf and sunglasses (and her clothes from two days earlier). Was it a subconscious attempt at channelling Tanya? Portia also seemed extremely not curious about what really happened to her, and I couldn’t tell if it was because she didn’t want to put herself in danger or if she was just thrilled to be safe and free of Tanya. Realistically, is there not one measly law enforcement officer on either side of the Atlantic who’s interested in asking her what happened to her boss, a very wealthy heiress who suspiciously drowned?

Swinging CHEDs

Out of all the stories, I was the most excited to see what happened with this foursome. I was on the edge of my seat during the confrontation where Ethan gets Harper to reveal that something happened with Cam. I guess Ethan did know Harper better than we realized all along. Also, not cool Harper, we thought you hate Cam?

I can’t say I really understood why Harper calling Cam an idiot at breakfast, after he was on his most idiotic rant yet (“you’re not even supposed to succeed anymore because you might make someone feel bad, cause harm to all the sad losers of the world”), was an automatic tell that something happened. Although perhaps it wasn’t actually Harper who Ethan was instinctually tuning into, but if it was Cam instead, and he had honed his intuition for these things after years of Cam trying to have sex with his crushes.

Regarding the Cam & Harper kiss though, my first instinct was to think that Cam and Ethan should be even now: both of them shared a 2 second kiss that they tried to deny for a day until they were finally confronted by their partners. But honestly, I think what Harper did was worse. She knew Cam was scummy and trying to get with her, but she played into his advances enough to go upstairs with him, and then intentionally made up the hat excuse. I’m not even totally sure if I believe that it was only a two second drunk kiss. How many shots could she have really taken while at the bar for 15 minutes, and then she texted Ethan specifically so he would not come up. But at the same time, it’s weird that in the first episode, Ethan was so fine with Cam exposing himself to Harper and he completely wrote it off at that point. If there were such a history of Cam stealing girls from Ethan, I don’t understand why his initial reaction to that wasn’t much stronger.

Now to the other big question: did Ethan and Daphne hooked up on Isola Bella? In my opinion yes, but then again, last week I said that I didn’t think anything happened between Cameron and Harper and was wrong about that, so who knows. My guess here is that Daphne’s speech to Ethan (this woman can do subtext like no one else) inspired him that it was acceptable to do so, and that this is what reignited Ethan’s lust for Harper later that night.

The biggest loose end for me with CHED is that I still don’t really understand why they went on vacation together in the first place. I kept assuming that a fuller underlying motivation would eventually be revealed, but I never felt that a complete explanation was ever really offered. They don’t seem particularly close or to like each other at all, yet this foursome can’t even seem to achieve a single dinner alone with just their own spouse, no matter how close to drowning each other they came earlier in the day. “And Harper, it has been fantastic to finally get to know you properly… and baby, thanks for putting up with me.”

Our final shot of the foursome shows both couples cuddling at the airport in a mirror of the first scene when we saw them arriving on the boat, except in this instance Harper and Ethan are connecting rather than bickering, and the couples are facing away from each other. Next year in the Maldives? Don’t you guys have any other friends who you each like more to go away with next year?

Other observations on CHED:

• While Cameron was flossing his teeth and Daphne was on the phone with the kids, were we supposed to intuit that Cam is sort of meh on the kids, possibly because he knows they aren’t his?

• The underwater fight between Cam and Ethan seemed very physically challenging and could maybe inspire a new form of wrestling.

• Will the hotel charge Ethan and Harper for the broken testa di moro statue?

DiGrasso Family Values

Last night’s finale included two blatant quid pro quo exchanges, and the first was Dom agreeing to wire Lucia $50,000 euros if Albie puts in a good word to his mother… a not at all fucked up bargain if his mom were to ever hear about it later, of course.

So while this is definitely a crossed boundary by Dom, is Albie just not thinking this through or is he deep down just as selfish as his father? All for the sake of a girl who is hours away from ditching him, Albie is willing to lie to his own mom to try to convince her to forgive Dom, even though Albie knows that he has not changed at all.

Dom is completely right when he asks Albie how he’s going to make it through life if he’s this big of a mark (I loved that line). And if Dom is highly attuned to any element of human relationships, this is it. Not only does Albie barely utter good morning before asking his dad to wire a full semester worth of Stanford tuition to a random Italian bank account without asking questions, but he didn’t even seem to learn from the last time he told his dad he needed cash. Did he think that multiplying the original amount by 50 would lead to fewer questions?

The major loose end in the DiGrasso storyline was the matter of Albie finding out that his dad had sex with Lucia. You have to wonder if he did know, would Albie have been down for this exchange of 50,000 euros (not even for himself) for falsely telling his mom that Dom is done cheating. Considering how casually he just let Lucia’s leaving him go as if it barely even mattered, I can’t be sure that he wouldn’t have done this deal anyway. Clearly he is a really big mark. It may be cliche but Dom is also right that Albie doesn’t understand the money because he doesn’t actually earn it.

There was one shot towards the end that I’m assuming was intended to imply that Albie was more likely going to follow in the footsteps of the other men in his family, rather than take a new direction. Aside from the fact that he was willing to screw over his own mother to throw five figures to a sex worker he met four days ago, one of the final scenes of the DiGrasso men together in the airport shows the three of them simultaneously turning heads to check out the same woman. While that’s not so uncommon, I think it was purposely included at that point to show that Albie’s way of relating to women was now more like his father and grandfather than he would like to admit. There must be some strong genes on that Achilles cock.

Even while Albie may not have the serial philandering traits that the show puts forth to signal “toxic masculinity,” Albie has his own generation’s twist on patriarchy and sexism. I perceive Albie as having a madonna/whore complex view of women, except in his world, all women are madonnas and none are whores (even the ones who literally are). It may be a softer approach than his father and grandfather, but it’s an approach that still denies women their agency and assumes that men are in the power position. Unfortunately it doesn’t appear that Albie has gleaned that perspective from his gender studies classes, nor is he aware that a $50,000 wire transfer to Italy would definitely trigger some questions from the bank and possibly the IRS. Dad, just do it, just give it.

Valentina’s Virgin Voyage

Clearly Mike White loves a messy hotel manager, and Valentina’s arc echoed Armand’s from last season more closely than it seemed like it would initially.

Out of all the character’s storylines, Valentina’s is the least clear to me what we’re supposed to take from it. I definitely didn’t have Valentina’s sexual awakening on my prediction list, nor did I have her giving Mia a job in exchange for sex when she was literally chasing her and Lucia out of the hotel less than a week ago.

Also, not to nitpick, but Valentina firing the piano player after he returned would probably not have been chill. It is so hard to fire someone in Europe. And yes, it may be true that the guests did prefer Mia to Guiseppe, but let’s hope for Valentina’s sake that Guiseppe doesn't know any employment lawyers.

Lucia & Mia’s Happily Ever After

Considering how in season 1, the “downstairs” cast were the ones who ended up getting screwed, this ending was a welcome departure. If anything, this was the opposite. Lucia and Mia pretty much fucked their way to the top (or as far as they could get in a week), which makes sense as the resolution considering that privilege and class were not the focus of this season. Sex was the focus, and no one used sex as effectively to get what they want as Mia and Lucia.

At the end we see that Alessio appears to be a doorman at another hotel, and taken together with Lucia’s interaction with the White Lotus doorman last week, my guess is that hotel doorman networking is just a standard part of staying employed in a city with such high unemployment. So it appears that she was just using Alessio as a scare tactic to get Albie to fear for her safety and provide her with money and/or an escape. I’m not sure why I don’t find myself more disgusted by Lucia, considering her scam of Albie was pretty cold. Maybe because I know Albie will be fine, and also the DiGrassos could just cancel the wire and claim it was fraud.

Final Observations:

• I noticed a lot of gaslighting in this episode, in the true sense of the word, not the TikTok definition. Harper, Cam, and Jack all weaponized a variation of “are you crazy?” when they were accurately accused of something that they initially tried to deny. In all cases, the attempt at questioning the sanity of the asker didn’t work and ultimately led to the truth. Maybe that’s what Quentin was trying to say when Tanya asked if Greg was having an affair, but his “are you crazy?” came out as blood.

• I generally didn’t find Albie that attractive throughout the show, but he looked the hottest he has all season while he was asking his dad for 50 grand for Lucia.

• The actress who played Mia seemed to get better at acting throughout the season… or the character had a personality change. Either way, I found Mia annoying as shit in the beginning and really liked her at the end.

• Loved the echo of the first season with the final airport departure scene where they showed the body being put onto a plane.

• There were a lot of “I love you’s” in this episode, and I believe they were the first of the season. Not a ton of vulnerability with this crowd.

• If there is any one character or couple who is going to be in season 3, who would you want it/them to be? Can be from either season!

I’m so sad this is over, but I will be back with more recaps and writing in the future. Succession anyone? Let me know what you’re watching, although we don’t always need to use this Substack for TV exclusively. But first, I need to discuss this finale extensively with you all in the comments.